Megalucifers 2023

Your favorite section returns after a yearly pause! Over the past time, shameful activity on the scene was relatively low, because the conditional separation that I predicted in Megalucifers 2021already happened. Those who were degenerates from the very beginning, remain degenerates (that's why I don't write about all sorts of OLD NICKS, DAWN RAY'DS or GAYLORDS, or about this fucking commie cucksucker Fabban from ABORYM - what's the point of writing that shit stinks?), and those who piss in their underpants out of fear to face the wrath of the Internet rabble are clearly visible now - these are 90% of them bands from the major labels rosters.

But, of course, there were several stories this year that it makes sense to pay attention to. 

TEUTONIC STALINISM

Let's start with the people who got in this shameful category for a third time in a row. Read the beginnin of the story in Megalucifers 2020 (no English version, sorry), the continuation in Megalucifers 2021. Sven Zimper (W.T.C. Productions) and Gelal Necrosodomy (GRAND BELIAL's KEY / Sinistrari Records / Weltenfeind Productions) continue their - oh, the irony! - whitewashing campaign of their bands, although one of the bands as recently ceased to belong to them (they probably disagree with this). Gelal continues to insist in his interviews that GBK has always been a strictly anti–religious band, and all statements about the racist component are lies of ignorants and haters. Meanwhile, all compromising photos and names continue to gradually disappear from reissues, and new GBK and ARGHOSLENT albums are released without lyrics in booklets.

But it's only child's play to what was on the way. This year, Weltenfeind has shat a bootleg reissue of "Asgardsrei" which will go down in history as the most ridiculous, shameful and childish way of personal revenge. Count on your fingers. First, a tedious fable was printed in the booklet, which was allegedly written by one of the authors of the stinky newspaper "Soviet Belorussia", since there is nothing in it except undisguised resentment, unsuccessful attempts at sarcasm and unchained, rabid lies. In short, Hendrik allegedly never played any role in ABSURD and stayed in the lineup only because he was Wolf's brother, and "Asgardsrei" itself was actually about “proto-Indo-European identity and respect for ancestors". Yeah. Secondly, in the best traditions of the Stalin era, Hendrik was removed from all photographs. Third, all the "inconvenient" fragments of texts were either slightly rewritten or quietly deleted.

I am disgusted not even by the fact of petty dirty tricks on the part of 50-year-old men, one of whom was considered almost the last hope of white American metal, but by the fact that in their hysteria they desecrated a cult album which they have nothing to do with. I would like to note that Hendrik, in turn, has never denied Unhold's contribution to ABSURD, and has more than once spoken very positively about his works. I'll put the dots on the "I": there is Sven "Unhold", once invited by Wolf, who has not written a single song since 2008. There is Gelal, invited by Sven, who wrote 4 or 5 tracks, but if you look at the statements on behalf of Weltenfeid, acts as if he created this band by himself. And there is Hendrik, one of the true creators of the band, who, in agreement with his brother – the only person besides him who has a decisive say here – restored ABSURD in 2017 and has already organized 7 releases (the eighth is in development). Finally, there is an official message from Wolf in the booklet of the latest EP “Das Heer aus dem Dunkel", which makes it clear that there is only one ABSURD band, and he says "thank you and goodbye" to former members and pretenders. I note that Gelal is not even mentioned here.

“Anyone who would delight in a fratricidal war: Move along, there’s nothing to see here! Family should be untouchable. I wish JFN a lot of luck and success with this and all his future releases. To Bile, Unhold, DMD, Managarm, Sburg, Tormentor, and S.S. Hammerwolf, I express my respect; without you, I would have remained just a reciter. Many thanks to all my listeners and supporters. Do better, farewell!”

Hopefully, this is finally settled, and I won't have to write a new chapter about two crooks in the next Megalucifers.

BOOTLEGGERS OF THE WORLD, UNITE!

An apple always falls near the apple tree, as evidenced by this rather long story. ASRAR is a relatively young Italian label founded in 2019 by a crook named Matteo Richiardi. As his ideal, he chose the Chinese Dani Lee (Goatowarex Records), who made his business, releasing various super-underground atrocities like ВОЛЧИЙ ИСТОЧНИК n fashionable vinyl and cassettes. Dani quickly learned how to create artificial demand for his releases, declaring them sold out an hour after the announcement; in the end, almost everything that came out on Goatowarex began to sell like graphic cards during the mining boom, because each release automatically became “rare” before it reached the buyer. After some time, the cunning Dani would put up the saved copies for sell at online auctions for new prices, and those who did not have the opportunity to grab another “rarity” on release gave their last trousers for them. This practice of traditional Chinese fraud unusual Eastern style of label development actively stimulated the disgusting phenomenon of record flipping, which, fortunately, has more or less remained in the past. There's a lot more to say about Goatowarex, but at least he's never been a pirate.

ASRAR is a different matter. At first, I admit, I even stood up for him in front of the critics, because you need to have a little courage to release on vinyl all sorts of NS wildness like WEHRHAMMER or the harsh underground like our ZAKLON, and an extraordinary talents to sell it. But over time, various unpleasant discoveries have been made. ASRAR has gained incredible momentum from the very start: in 2020 alone, it issued about 100 (!!!) vinyl releases, and this, so that you understand, is the pace of a conditional Metal Blade, but not a modest Italian label. At the same time, ASRAR has not formed a certain aesthetic, which is a necessary aspect of every serious metal label. From the very beginning, it releases everything NS-related it can with the speed of a machine gun, sometimes without even giving time to write a short press release for another record. Moreover, already in the third year, some of his press releases acquired a mocking character, which caused a misunderstanding - if you start mocking your own stuff, then why the fuck you keep doing it?

Further, insider information surfaced that Matteo's dad is a fairly rich man, and it is his money that allows ASRAR to constantly load the vinyl factory with orders. I didn't hold a candle, maybe it's a lie, but it would explain everything, since it's hard for me to imagine that he maintains such a frenzied pace solely due to his sales. Another inside: the infamous allegedly Iranian NS project ĀTESH, created with the sole purpose of parasitizing on the popularity of VOTHANA, was created by the same Matteo, because this shit sells good.

These are still small things. After some time, statements began to appear from confused musicians who suddenly found out about new editions of their releases from ASRAR - sometimes very old ones, like the DER STÜRMER / GALGENBERG split, for example. I have not counted how many such bootlegs he released recently, but it's dozens. Sometimes he finds excuses for himself using the method of Yura Chernobob (Gavnarok records; we'll talk about him later) - like, he supposedly made an agreement with a third back vocalist who shouted "heil Hitler" at the 59th second of the third track of the band's demo, so everything is official and legal now! Pirates, what else can I say.

Much more often, ASRAR cheats on musicians and buyers with limited releases. The funny thing is that he got burned on this, opening a new website where you can see how many copies are now in stock. If you see that there are only 140 pieces left in stock for a super-exclusive release limited to 88 copies, this raises questions. I'm not even talking about the usual black vinyls, minimum 500 copies of each, when the limitation is 250 or 300. There were also stories from the musicians who participated in festivals organized by him and never getting payed.

Obviously, at some point the burden of "glory" became too heavy, and Matteo weighed anchor to move his business to Estonia. I hope the members of a good band LOITS will fuck him up there. And now we finally come to the most important part, where Yura comes to the stage!

Let me remind you that a few years ago, Chernoboba planned to launch the production of pirated BBH vinyls through the German Hammerbund. Hendrik Moebus and Nikolai from Der Schwarze Tod stopped this by registering a trademark for the German region. It should be noted that Hammerbund, who was angry at first, eventually left this behind and has been behaving very decently lately. But the rat Yura did not give up on his filthy intentions. Taking advantage of the fact that Nikolai is working very slowly on BBH releases, the faggot spewed another bunch of shit, and then – obviously, during a sabbatic night on a brokeback mountain - he found a partner in the person of Matteo from ASRAR.

Obviously, Matteo demanded some kind of factual confirmation of Yura's "rights" on BBH, and then this scumbag, through his curators, obtained a scan of Kaldrad's passport nd falsified a “contract” from September 2016, according to which Kaldrad allegedly sold him the rights to most of the BBH releases for a ridiculous amount of 150,000 rubles. Of course, while Kaldrad was alive, there was no such contract, and Yurakicked himself in the chest and swore that he would not even touch, say, BRANIKALD. Today, the faggot is once again dancing on the grave of the great artist and lies that in this way he “helped him pay off the mortgage.” Just so you understand, Kaldrad earned a lot more money from royalties from each individual album, so this fairy tale looks even more disgusting.

But for ASRAR, this excuse was enough, and he began producing bootlegs at his usual pace. Militant Zone launched a rather loud campaign against him, demanding to immediately withdraw from sale and throw the shitty bootlegs into the fire, where they belong. Matteo shouted for a long time that he was innocent, complained, threatened to sue and even offered money for silence, but, having realized that the position of Kaldrads relatives and friends was unshakeable, he continued to defecate with bootlegs just out of anger. In all the smallest details, this story can be read on the resources of WotanJugend and Heretic Camp. In the end, I will leave you a recording of a telephone conversation, which vividly demonstrates that no kind of cooperation between Kaldrad and Chernoboba simply could not exist.

P.S. After looking at all this, Jens from Ewiges Eis Records, who had not published anything for three years before, printed the repress of "Хмель Мизантропии" on CD and LP, since Kaldrad allegedly allowed him to do it at a Totenburg concert in 2013 (he did not). Of course, "for some reason" he didn't want to reprint the most rare BRANIKALD release while Kaldrad was still alive. "Asemit", my ass.

THE DOG ATE MY BAND

The most funny story in this rather sad year was presented to us by certain The Astral Serpent , now a former musician from the States (of course). This dumbass, who himself admitted that he discovered Black Metal only during the COVID pandemic in 2020, nevertheless created as many as 6 projects, including CRUCIFIXION BELL (something was released on Inferna Profundus), as well as WOLFSWUT, clearly inspired by various right-wing things. The release of the WOLFSWUT album on vinyl was handled by ASRAR (him again!), who made the American a great service by putting the print run of 150 copies on sale as “limited to 88 copies on white Aryan vinyl".

After some time, anti-fascist shit-eaters found out about this, and, according to a proven scheme, began to actively “cancel” the musician along with all the rest of his projects. The excuse he posted on his Instagram should go down in history: say, all these "Aryan vinyls" were ASRAR's initiative, which he knew nothing about, and the WOLFSWUT project was actually named after... his dog Rita. The Astral Serpent himself, of course, has nothing to do with NS stuff, and he promises to transfer all proceeds from digital sales to support the anti-fascist cause, and so on. Apparently, this did not help much, since in June 2023 this loser solemnly “ended his musical career”. This brave act can only be welcomed.

CHINGACHGOOK, CHIEF OF THE WINDBAGS

The big music business seems to have found a new scheme to make money. Investing in bands that can potentially bring financial benefits is a risky and obsolete thing; they're all over the place with their sudden lack of inspiration or saying something out of the line. A new solution is to create profitable bands on your own!

The US project BLACKBRAID appeared in 2022, literally out of nowhere. The guy behind it had no history in metal or any other music whatsoever (he once played in a small pop-rock band, and that's all). But literally from the first day of its existence, New York Times (!!!), VICE and Rolling Stone write about BLACKBRAID, the entire Internet was filled with ads for the first album, and its videos on YouTube received thousands of obviously bought comments and views. In 2023, BLACKBRAID has already performed at Hellfest. It is simply impossible to achieve something like this organically, at the expense of one's own talent. And even with a large advertising budget, it is very, very difficult. I can remember many young bands, even good ones, who tried to promote themselves through expensive advertising, but none even came close to BLACKBRAID. In order for someone like Rolling Stone to write about a newborn band, you need to pay a fuckload of money. Therefore, it is obvious that either an insanely rich philanthropist or a big PR machine is behind BLACKBRAID.

An indirect confirmation of the latter is the thematic subject of the project. BLACKBRAID can be considered a part of "bronze metal", a style fashionable primarily in North America, dedicated to the traditions of Native American peoples. European NS types , who for some reason think they have a monopoly on nationalism, hate it, but personally I am generally supportive towards "bronze metal". The problem is that it fits very well into the degenerate leftist discourse, and BLACKBRAID uses it to the fullest, implementing the methods of MYRKUR. Whoever is against MYRKUR is a misogynist, and whoever is against BLACKBRAID is a racist. Look at the magnificent customs and traditions of the Native Americans, fuck the white invaders! I guess native americans have every right to hate whites, but the problem is that BLACKBRAID guy is not a native american (i.e. "Indian") at all. The pseudonym "Sgah'ghahsowah" is taken from the language of the Mohawks, who, let me tell you, were a Northern tribe that lived, around modern New York and southern Canada. But this character is an orphan Mexican who was adopted by the family from US in late 1989. That is, everything is as always: for some reason, some left-wing cocksuckers talk for the opressed people and minorities, while these people and minorities, who couldn't care less, pour moonshine down their throats or smoke crack or gorge on kebab.

It's funny that BLACKBRAID's first album was released on Belgian Neuropa Records, which previously released, for example, the fascists ARDITI or Swedes NÅSTROND, but for some reason, this time all the major media shut their eyes and mouths, never saying a word about the connection of our "Indian" with such terrible criminals.

With all the money invested in the project, BLACKBRAID was not at all shy about organizing a $10,000 fundraising among fans for a car to ride in tour. This year he traveled all the way to Norway, where he performed with live members at the Midsgardblot festival, and then got drunk, got cocky, and was thrown out by the guards along with his assistants. Yes, I know that you have already guessed the outcome - Chingachgook accused the guards and organizers of the festival of racism; say, the bands was kicked out "for the colour of their skin". Instantly, it became clear that he's full of shit, and after a while BLACKBRAID reluctantly said that "both sides" had behaved badly.

If anyone is interested what kind of music is BLACKBRAID, it is, of course, a rather sterile and amorphous atmospheric metal somewhere between SAOR and WOLVES IN THETHRONE ROOM. I think we'll hear more about this artificial creation in the nearest future.

UADA BARBARA

Year after year, UADA do everything possible to retain the status of the main tragicomedians of the US metal scene. In the summer of 2023, they fired one of the founding guitarists, making it incredibly melodramatic. A post appeared on the band's FB page stating that the guitarist, who fucked female fans on tours while having a wife at home, was fired, as the “offended” women and that very ex-wife allegedly asked UADA to do something with this “harasser”, rapist, etc. And UADA fired him to, quote, "protect themselves, the band, and, most importantly, the fans."

Very soon, the guitarist's wife visited the comments section and said that she had never asked UADA to meddle in her personal affairs, had never accused her husband of harassment, and that she was not yet an ex-wife, and the band was using the situation solely to present themselves as saints against the background of their former comrade. In fact, it is very typical of the modern “safe” metal scene, where the holier-than-thou principle is elevated to the absolute.

A fucktard Jake Superchi - UADA's mainman - made a Solomonic decision by deleting the woman's posts and banning her. When FB users who had noticed everything commented on his idiotic behavior, he said that she was lying. After some time, that very guitarist James, who was fired, made his statement where he admitted that he had indeed cheated on his wife many times, and because of this they decided to divorce. And it was Jake Superchi who snitched on him, who wrote to his wife how James fucks everything that moves in tours and how he hates his old lady. Probably because he wanted to fuck James' wife himself. So, this teenage drama, as if taken from a youth comedy of the early 2000s, was played out by the bunch of 40-year-old men. In the end, the fresh white outfits of UADA's high morality turned out to be nothing but yellow-and-brown-stained rags of unprincipled faggots willing to trample each other into the mud for the sake of three minutes of dubious fame. Believe it or not, this circus band still considers itself to be Black Metal!

ONCE YOU GO FAG, YOU NEVER GO BACK

I think readers of Bagnik Zine know about the old Swedish band SACRAMENTUM, which recorded three albums in the 90s and fell apart. In 2019, for some reason, the Swedes decided to return to the scene and almost instantly put a bold red cross on their reputation. After going on a US tour in 2023, SACRAMENTUM disgraced themselves by using a live bassist in the form of a disgusting creature “Melissa Moore”, known to most people as Faggot from ABSU. At first, there was an opinion that this was an unfortunate incident - like, SACRAMENTUM are old people, the promoters slipped them a tranny, and they don't even know about it. But already during the tour, the first new release of SACRAMENTUM was out - a seven-inch split with CROSSSPITTER, which is headed by this very faggot from ABSU. You can't clean yourself after someting like this. The split, by the way, was called "Satan's Black Sex Masses”, and somehow I don't even want to imagine what kind of sex masses were held by Swedish old farts and American leaky degenerate. Now every member of SACRAMENTUM, taking Willem Dafore's posture, can say to the band's fans: "You know,, I'm something of a faggot myself". It's a good thing I didn't have time to listen to them, and now I won't even try.

NEW TIMES DEMAND NEW DECISIONS

In the early 1990s, young barbarians, raised by a harsh environment and heroic fantasy, fought for their beliefs with their own hands, burning churches and killing people. In 2023, as practice shows, any fucking bullshit at the Internet may become more important than even a full–fledged real war - you just need to make a fuss about it. Apparently, two Scandinavian crooks - a photographer NecrosHorns and musician Bjorn Erik Holmedal (ONE TAIL, ONE HEAD, MARE, BEHEXEN, DARVAZA, RITUAL DEATH, CELESTIAL BLOODSHED) - understood this all too well. During DARVAZA's arrival in Israel, they went out to Via Dolorosa and took AN INCREDIBLY RISKY AND DANGEROUS photo, which you see above as the cover for this material, and posted it on Instagram with fantastically pathetic description. I have no doubt that Bjorn's momma was standing somewhere behind the scenes, as it always happens when another little oaf wants to mess around and go to the grocery store in corpse paint.

Probably, the original idea was to stress that the Black Metal band performed in Israel, and then visited the place where Christ himself was dragged to Golgotha, and for some unclear reason it was supposed to impress the public. It seems that even BEHEMOTH were in greater danger when they took their pictures in the church during mid-2000s. But later that day, Hamas scum attacked Israel, and it was bull's eye for NecrosHorns! "The peak of my career", "the riskiest photo in extreme metal", incredibly shameful merchandise, podcast interviews with new heroes who escaped painful death at the last moment, etc, etc. To be honest, even from the point of view of basic morality, bragging with this bullshit, when in fact there was no risk, while other civilians in Israel were demonstratively raped and killed, is simply low. I wonder what would survivors tell to these two idiots and the "great risk" they were in to. It's a pity that during the ridiculous photo shoot on Via Dolorosa there was not a single aggressive Hamas subhuman nearby. In that case, these two attention whores really would have had a chance to become heroes of Black Metal stories, and not just stories on Instagram.

CARELIAN SATANIST QUEERNESS

I have already written that mr. Werwolf has been behaving very suspiciously lately, as if trying to dissociate himself from any connection with NS even saying ridiculous things like “SATANIC WARMASTER was always left". I still think that this is a kind of game, and perhaps an attempt to find an identity, since a recent discussion with Finnish musicians made me think about the big ideological difference between Nazi Satanic Black Metal and National Socialist "Black Metal". Indeed, praising the total Holocaust by the hand of the Iron Reich of Satan and singing about the Aryan world for white children are, to put it mildly, very different things. Maybe to demonstrate his contempt for the latter, or simply because he is an inept provocateur who would eat his own feces to upset someone, Werwolf published this ad through New Era Magazine.

It is unclear who this is intended for. Leftists on Reddit, where Werwolf is active recently, will not accept him into their circle, even if, following their example, he cuts off his dick and gets an elbow tattoo in the form of a rainbow flag. NS old-timers remember well how he mocked the colored fans of SATANIC WARMASTER on more decent forums, and this shenanigan causes only a deep misunderstanding among them. Even in the direction of black PR, this is not that effective: instagrammed metallers do not read the zines, and hardcore fans simply will no longer give Werewolf Records money and will burn their SATANIC WARMASTER / THE TRUE WEREWOLF collection. It seems to me that the famous Finn, wanting to commit a loud provocation, just urinated his own face and achieved nothing except self-disgrace.

TUMULT IN THE HENHOUSE

Niklas Kvarforth recently decided to get back to his old ways, and I'm not talking about sexual contacts with 70-year-old rich perverts, but publishing activity. Old-timers remember that the final period of activity of his Selbstmord Services was overshadowed by repeated cases of rip-off, but, as in the case of Blake Judd, history teaches no one. Kvarforth created his "legions“ (apparently infected by Nergal while working on a horrible cover of "A Forest"), that is, SHINING online stores in the USA and Europe. He put some naive fools in charge of them, and himself opened a label called The Sinister Initiative.

And - what a surprise! - at the end of 2023, it turned out that Kvarforth had even given up on sending packages to customers, put almost all the money from online stores and the band in his pocket, and treated those who helped him (including SHINING partners) as "tools" and did not even consider them people (and that is absolutely right thing to do - didn't they know who he is?). Unfortunately for him, the official Internet resources of SHINING were in the hands of his assistants, so in a funny public quarrel, where once again the whole nature of this Swedish cocksucker was exposed, Kvarforth looked rather sad. At the moment, SHINING has ceased to exist, and I hope it's forever.

IT’S OK TO BE NORWAY

To end on a positive note, I would like to say to address to Belarusians who miss large Western European festivals without being able to get a visa: don't be sad! There aren't many decent festivals left. For example, you don't need to go to Norway to visit the legendary Inferno anymore. And if you really want to, you can listen to it on equally legendary (among who?) feminist LGBTQ+ Radio!

Also, Inferno, honoring the tradition of a certain kind of circuses of the XIX-XX centuries, offers to look at bearded sodomite women (and, hopefully, midgets).

The fact that part of the income from the festival goes to support degenerates is quite obvious.